her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I AM VODKA MAN
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
