Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
