honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
