if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
