"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We are all done wearing pants today
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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