i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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