i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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