I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
