Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I have post one night stand depression
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