there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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