Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Can I color on your dick again?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
