Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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