dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
