Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
