i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
