maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
