Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
