Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
