come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
jump out the window naked night went bad
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
