So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
