Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
