guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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