I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
