when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
