Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
