she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
