Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
