so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
