There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
