you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We are two peas in an std pod
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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