Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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