my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
