who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
