He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
