Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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