If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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