I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize