THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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