Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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