Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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