Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Randomize
