I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
