my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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