so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
