the new term for farting is butt boxing.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
