Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
