I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
