I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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