never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Of course I have a pirate flag
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
