Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
