my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
