Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
