you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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