she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
handjob tips. give me some.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
