I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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