my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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