I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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